I am undeniably drawn to Judaism – I am lifted up spiritually at Shabbat services in a way that nothing else does… even while I think I disagree with the theology. But do I? And does it matter? How much of religion is emotion and how much is intellect? I have warm, fuzzy comforting feelings for our mythology as well, but while I consider myself notionally and functionally polytheistic I’m not sure that I actively believe in the separate existence of the Gods… but again, does it matter? Particularly since most of the Hellenic community seems to have concluded that the triumph of orthopraxy over orthodoxy means that the individual’s beliefs are largely irrelevant… which I don’t really agree with, since if your practice is not backed up by at least some sort of belief, why bother?

Certainly I feel more a part of the pagan community… kind of. Online, at least – I’m certainly not part of the pagan “community” here, to the extent that there is a community and not just a bunch of pagans. But I do have a RL community at Beth El, to a degree – and that would only increase if I became more involved. On the other other hand, I have a definite community at PUUC, but I get no spiritual juice there at all…

I really long, in fact I yearn, to get all of these things together in the same place, along with my family, but I just don’t see how that is going to be possible.

Advertisement